ninaninaninanina:

DINKY TEETH

ninaninaninanina:

DINKY TEETH

negritaaa:

TSA: are u carrying any firearms or explosives?

Me: *points to crotch* u mean this bomb pussy?

TSA: why do u always do this?

territorialcreep:

my dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow

rlmjob:

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday cause its the only day of the year where im not the only one stuffing my asshole with bread

theofficialpolice:

just-cat:

sad-white-girl:

I would be an awful parent. My kid would say “I don’t wanna go to school I just wanna sleep” and I’d probably get in bed with them and say “I feel you”

"why weren’t you at school today"

"my mum feels me"

*police sirens*

squldward:

crapaccino:

HAHA WOW I JUST WON A YEAR SUPPLY OF CALENDARS 

isnt that just one calendar 

gloomyteens:

i will reblog this every time i see it

cybuggin:

one time i was swimming in a spring in florida and everybody started screaming and getting out of the water and i was like haha losers aint nothing in this water and so i climbed up on a rock to sit, but then the rock started moving and thats the story of the time i rode a manatee

zecretary:

OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY Y EYE I JUST MISTOOK ANOTHER STUDENT FOR A TRASH CAN AND THREW MY TRASH AT HER THIS IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT OF MY LIFE